au revoir to the boys

I hate goodbyes. I suck at them. Although mostly I'm bad at what happens after the goodbye, keeping in touch and all that. But in the last week I had to say goodbye to two dear friends. They were two of the first people I met in Boston, and they had become pretty important to me, so it was pretty tough to see them go.

Last weekend was Mongkol's going away. He had been traveling in the last few weeks before he left, so I didn't get to see him when I came back from my trip home. I was only able to see him the night before he left. I was meeting him and the rest of our group for dinner at Elephant Walk, a French and Cambodian restaurant. I was upset with myself because I was a little late getting there but since I ran into Brent on the T I didn't feel nearly as bad. Dinner was good and everyone seemed really high-spirited. After dinner we wanted to hang out a little more so we went to Beacon Street Tavern. It was packed so we decided to try the Publick House, which was also packed. Finally we decided on Starbucks. It was nice to be able to sit and talk in peace and quiet. We took lots of pictures and hung out until Starbucks closed. At that point we headed over to Athan's for more conversation. Mongkol told us about growing up in Cambodia and his family's experiences during the Khmer Rouge regime. It was amazing and sobering to hear his stories. It made me realize how much I take my relatively calm life for granted. I was also amazed at how he's such a generally happy and positive person. But before long we had to leave. I don't think it was really real to me that he was leaving at that point. Brent, Laurie, Candice and I waited for the T with him and said our goodbyes. I hugged him and told him I would come visit him, then I said I wasn't going to let go. Pretty soon a train came and we waved as he got on.

I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but on my way home I couldn't help tearing up. The next morning at church was a little tough for me and people said I was visibly upset. I don't know where all that emotion came from, but people were really sweet and reassuring to me. I decided to light a candle of 'bittersweet joy' during joys and concerns. That made me feel a lot better and put my feelings into perspective.

Last night was Brent's going away. Unfortunately I had to miss dinner with everyone because I was going to Theology on Tap. But I happened to be at the bar right upstairs from where they were, so I left a little early to join everyone. When I got there, they were getting ready to head out. We went across the way to a bar called Common Ground. We were hanging out and drinking while we waited for the dance floor to open. While we were hanging out I got a chance to talk to Mongkol on the phone which just made my night! Eventually the dance floor opened up, but the music wasn't very good. We sort of tried to make the best of it and dance some. As the night went on the music got better and it ended up being pretty fun, but not spectacular. A little after midnight, we left. I was heading home with Tim and Yun, so we had to rush up to Comm Ave to make the T. I waved goodbye to everyone. Then suddenly I realized I wasn't going to see Brent again before he left. I just looked at him and we said bye to each other. Not all that emotional, but strangely it was just right. I guess that was because his leaving was so sudden and shocking, and I didn't really have time to get used to the idea of him being gone.

I miss them both so much already. It's going to be so weird going to all the places I was so used to seeing them and not have them there. At the same time it's okay because I'll keep in touch and hopefully see them again soon!